Cairo and the Cub Scouts

This week Cairo and I went to a Cub Scout meet and greet event. It was pretty low key, just a few parents checking in and asking questions.  It all seemed great.  The kids get to do projects, work on badges and go to events.  When I was reading the info and their oaths I have to admit that I was a little concerned at how much God plays a role in the Cub Scouts.  Not so much because my views on God and religion are very different from most but because that is something, in my opinion, that should be handled at home.  Even though I was a little reluctant, Cairo got signed up.  I figure it's a good way to spend quality time with him and I know he's going to have fun, he'll make new friends.  Plus after explaining to Cairo that the Cub Scouts are like the boy version of the Fire Site Girls, well there was no turning back!

I'm really looking forward to the weekly meetings.  I think Cairo is going to enjoy being a cub scout and I really like the idea of having this time that is just "Cairo time".  I'll be able to focus entirely on him, what he's doing and working on stuff together.  At home, even though we do do stuff like watch movies and pop popcorn or go on walks or go to the park on the weekends we really don't do much during the week. It's always a rush rush thing.  We rush home after work/school, we do home work, he watches T.V. while I wash dishes and/or do some laundry.  Then it's shower time for him then bedtime.  What saves me a a ton of time is the fact that we usually have dinner at my moms during the week. Since she picks him up after school for me it's just easier to give in to her offerings of some good Mexican cooking.

Our meetings are Monday nights so they won't get in the way of therapy on Tuesdays and we have our first fundraiser!  We are selling popcorn! Can you say YUM?  Wish us luck!!

Looking for a second job

As crazy as it sounds I am now looking for a second job.  What I currently make at my full time job, although is ok, is not quite cutting my families current needs.  I was very reluctant on making this decision.  Cairo needs me but I need for us to be able to survive, this requires extra moolah.  Kids need stuff, you know like cloths, food, hair cuts, the occasional toy and what I make now doesn't cover those needs.  Shoot, it doesn't cover those needs for myself either.  I've waited long enough and I can no longer ask my family to help me when they need help themselves.  Right now is probably the best time to do so.  The holiday season is upon us and you'd think that every one would be hiring for it.

I've enjoyed spending time with my son on the weekends.  It's just the two of us until Jose get's back.  The weekends are like a breath of fresh air.  No one criticizing me or trying to take away my role as Cairos mom. If Cairo wants to go to the park we go, we watch movies and eat what we want.  No one meddles in my parenting and Cairo is free to run and play.  All that's missing is Jose, but hopefully that will be fixed soon.

I've debated on how truthful I should be on my applications.  I'm curious of they see that I currently have a full time job if they will over look me to give someone with no job a better chance, I probably would.  Should I put my current salary?  I'm afraid I'll look an Scrooge, you would think with what I make I can pull off all our needs. Sure I can, but just the bare minimum....

Sorry kid, deal with the holes in your shoes.

Hey I got free AC in my jeans!

Sorry bud, we can't eat out...EVER.

Birthday party?  Out where? I think not.

Make that hair cut super short, it's got last till after winter.

You see what I mean?   Sure we have a small roof over our heads and some food to eat but that's about it.  God forbid one of us get's sick, paying that co-pay may mess us up for the rest of the month, especially if we need some sort of prescription meds.  The sad part is that I'm probably doing a lot better than most right now.  There are so many people who don't have jobs and/or don't have a place to sleep.  It shouldn't be this way.

Oh well, I'm on the search for a second job.  So far I've applied at Michaels and Menards and I checked UPS but they are only hiring people for during the day.  So far no one has called me back.  I have a feeling this is going to be a long process and the fact that I already have a job isn't going to help me much.

America....the Great?

The 10th anniversary of the Sept 11 attacks just passed and everyone all over has a aura about them.  Talking about how wonderful our country is and how much they love their country.  You'll see proud Americans cheering as the national anthem is sung with pride all over T.V. and YouTube.  What does it mean to be proud of your country?  Is America really a "great and wonderful nation"?  I was born in this country but I'm also first a generation Mexican-American, yet for some reason seeing all these "proud Americans" gives me a sick feeling in my stomach.  I know it sounds very Un-American and I hate to say it but I don't feel as proud to be American as these people whooping and hollering on T.V. seem to be.

What makes America a great nation?  I tried googling it and found several pages.  Every single page talks about how great America is for business, entertainment, sports etc...  Is that what defines being a great nation?  Big businesses and corporations can make big money here.  Hollywood makes the best damn movies seen all over the world.  Athletes can make millions by playing pro sports.  This is what makes our country great?  

I've had it in my head that what should make a country great is defined by how the country treats it's citizens.  Their education, poverty level, culture, over all health...etc.  I look at my life looking to see how America has benefited my specific life.  I went to a private school K-5th grade...that was all my parents hard earned money that did that.  I did go to public school 6th grade through high school, which is paid out of my parents property taxes, with some help.  I went to college and a large University, paid in full by my parents, myself and husband.  The only time I asked for government help was when I was pregnant with my son.  We didn't have health insurance, I wasn't working and we were barely making it on my husbands income.  My sister-in-law made me apply.  It was the worst feeling ever needing to apply for public aid.  I kept feeling I was taking something away from someone else.  There were more people in more need than me and as soon as I got a full time job with benefits, thanks to a friends referral, I stopped getting the help.  Everything my family has, has been earned with hard work, sweat and tears.  It was not given to us.

Perhaps it is all about perspective.  For those who can afford health care and a great education for their children this is indeed a great nation.  They do not feel the impact of the failed economy.  Those families have the world as their playground and do not know what it is like to suffer or be hungry. They are even above the laws imposed on every one else, they can afford really good attorneys after all.

From what I can tell, for the rest of us America has one of the worst school systems in the world.  Our health care is just about as bad.  Many citizens live in poverty.  A small percent of wealthy citizens control most of the nations money. We have a small percent of the worlds population but the highest that are in prisons.  Our history started with righteousness and genocide.  Racism, bigotry and intolerance is thriving.  Hate and violence is defended by religious text.  As big corporations make millions and billions in profits every year while we have starving children and people losing their homes.  If politicians have their way we will become a very segregated country where education and our freedom will differ all over the country.  I will say that we are one of the safest countries in the world, but quite frankly I attribute that to the fact that we only have two neighbors and we are half way around the world from countries that hate us.  Laws are made to suppress and imprison as many people as possible to give the illusion of safety to the wealthy and naive.

I used to think America was a great nation but now after all that it's doing to separate my family, kill the economy, eliminate the middle class, and imprison minorities...sorry if I don't feel so patriotic. 

Guards arrest that girl!!

This morning was an emotional one.  As I'm driving Cairo to school all he could talk about was his dad.  That in itself was difficult to deal with but then we got to the school yard.

Usually I let Cairo mingle with his classmates while they wait for their teacher. I stand in front of the line while he goes off and talks with his little friends.  Today though one moment he was with a small group of kids then I didn't see him anymore.  I started to walk down the line looking at every child to find him.  It didn't take long, he was in the front of the line with his head down.  I crouched down and asked him what was wrong.  He had tears rolling down his cheeks then he just buried himself in my arms.  I asked him:

 "What happened pappi??"

 He didn't respond and I asked him again.

Then he responded "She yelled at me".

I immediately thought "Who was the bitch that yelled at my baby?!?!?", so I asked "Who did pappi?".

"The girl over there"  I turned and wanted to growl like lioness protecting her cub, it was another first grader, so I held back the growl.

"What did she say to you?"

"She said to get in line"

Of course, I relaxed at this but my instinct was to yell out "Guards arrest that girl!!"

I held my cuddly cub until his teacher came out. She asked what had happened so I explained.  Cairo had tears just rolling down his cheeks and was holding on to me. I'm sure he was upset but now he was also embarrassed. Even the teachers heart broke, she asked him if he wanted to go with her while holding out her hand. He said yes and took it.

I did my best to explain to him that some kids just want to be bosses and tell other kids what to do but all we can do is ignore them and we shouldn't let them get to us.  That's easier said than done.  Cairo is not one for confrontations, he can't handle them and I can't handle having little monkeys, that barely learned how to wipe their own butts, pushing him around. What is a parent to do?